This seems one of the easiest and at the same time most complex forms of relationship. Easy because we can all have a casual acquaintance. But friendship is a different story and
every person has their own definition of friendship. The difficulty is to find a common platform for the different expectations.

One person might want to share her most intimate thoughts all the time with her friend, whilst another might only want to do so once in a while. Another friend might want to have more contact but due to work and other duties does not have the time to.
These are just a few examples of the different expectations that individuals might have towards friendship and their friends and the discrepancies can lead to disillusionment.

The word friendship can be split up into ‘friend’ and ‘ship’. Considering this, it seems that friends are on board a ship. Under normal circumstances, a ship does not only stay in a safe harbour but usually sails across the seas towards a new harbour. The seas can be tranquil, rough, stormy, shallow, or deep – and the vessel will be challenged along the way and needs to be strong enough to survive and to contain the friendships on board. The friends need to trust the ship that it will be strong enough to weather the seas.

This analogy helps to explain my understanding of a good friendship. When, for instance, two people have a special understanding of each other’s circumstances, they should make these part and parcel of their relationship. Being tolerant of each other is an important element of a good friendship.

Trust is the essence of friendship. I always find that if I know that I can go to a friend and just talk and know that she won’t go to her next best friend and talk about me, or that somehow somewhere along the grapevine my life gets known to everybody else, then I
can trust that person. We have all been in a situation where we need to talk about subjects very close to our hearts and would probably all end up feeling very unwell, physically or emotionally, if we would not have the chance to talk to a trustworthy person.

Last but not least, a small story from my life: I have had to move to different countries quite a bit already and in each case, I had to leave behind some very special people. But the friends that really accepted me for who I am and this was reciprocal, I still have contact – no matter how long we have been apart. When we do meet up again, we start up where we left off again and there is no strangeness between us. Just an amazing, yet odd kind of familiarity. I have been blessed with amazing friendships and even though I miss being near my friends, I would not have wanted to never have met them!


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– Crystal Energy Healer, Psychologist Life Coach and Hypnotherapist in Cape Town, Western Cape. Contact me for Chakra balancing, Solution Focused Life Coaching and Clinical Hypnosis.

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