Boundaries allow us to feel safe and respected both physically and emotionally. By honouring our limitations we are better able to take care of ourselves, build trust, prevent burnout and achieve more meaning and authenticity in our relationships.
Many people find it hard to set boundaries and some even feel it might seem selfish or rude. The truth is that it’s neither selfish nor rude. By establishing your limits you are not only protecting your relationships, but you are also protecting yourself and your wellbeing.
Here are some easy ways to start:
1. Listen to your body
Our bodies are amazing and always give us clues as to what is impacting us negatively. When you start to feel your jaw tighten, your pulse speeding up, or your chest feeling heavy, take a moment to explore the discomfort you are feeling and why.
2. Take some time
From time to time you might be caught off guard by someone overstepping a boundary. Instead of allowing something that doesn’t sit well with you, rather take some time to reflect on the situation before you respond. Remember, by doing and allowing things in your life that you don’t want, you build resentment toward yourself.
3. Be prepared
Not everyone will respond well when you set a limitation. As long as you express your boundary with kindness and compassion take comfort in the knowledge that it is not your responsibility to make it acceptable for them. People who are controlling and manipulative will always try and make you doubt yourself or feel bad if your decision doesn’t suit them.
4. Respect other people’s boundaries
You can’t expect other people to respect your limitations if you are not offering them the same understanding. Likewise, when you pick up that someone is uncomfortable and not communicating their boundaries, ask them if your request is making them uncomfortable.
5. Nothing is ever set in stone
Boundaries can and should be flexible. As we grow older and our circumstances change, so should our boundaries. If they are too loose or too rigid, you may want to explore the reasons why as it could indicate that you have some negative beliefs that need to shift.
6. Practice saying the word NO
If you are not used to saying no when you don’t want to do something, you may have some uncomfortable times ahead of you, and that is okay – allow yourself the time to adapt and get used to asserting yourself. Start practising saying no to things you don’t want to do. Always use kindness and compassion. You don’t have to give a reason or an excuse. Simply say “No, thank you.” Or “Thank you, but I can’t.”
7. Put yourself first
There’s a saying: “You can’t pour from an empty cup”. Your time is valuable but also limited. By saying yes to everyone you are not leaving any space for self-care. You will be on the road to burnout, feeling unappreciated and resentful toward the very people you were trying to please. Make a list of priorities in your life and compare it to where your energy and time is being spent currently. You will quickly see where you need to make adjustments.
By making these small changes in your daily life you will see visible improvements in no time.
Feel free to contact me for more information on how I can assist you in creating lasting change in your life through Crystal Healing, Life Coaching and/or Hypnotherapy.